Regrets and New Resolve

Originally I published letters to a friend as blogs, but when my friend stopped writing back, I stopped keeping up my blog. Now that a year has passed since we left Argentina, I regret not keeping up a journal of our life. Just tonight my husband and I were commenting on how we’ve been in transition since November 2006 and still our future is unclear. As I read to him from my blog it occurred to me that so much has happened in the last year that would have been good to look over.
SO! All that to say, I’m starting up my journaling again…and publishing it to my blog. Here we go.
Yes, It’s been a while, and much has happened in our lives over the past year. We’ve been out of touch for too long. Life marches on even when we don’t keep in contact.
This past weekend Bryon preached up in Wyoming, and had quite an experience with God on the way home, who wanted him to be open to becoming a pastor again. To hear him speak of it, he was not only asked of God to commit to following that path, but also God told him to ask for four things in return. He has decided to send out his resume to some of the districts, starting with western ones.
Tonight Bryon had a meeting with some leaders of the “OF”, a fund raising ministry. Now he’s confused. It’s something that he can see himself doing, they provide all the training, and we’d live in the northeast. Is this something that is part of God’s plan for us, is it a distraction, or what? What is the next step? We prayed about it and hopefully will feel that God is guiding us either towards this or not.
On another note, this was quite the weekend for me as well. Saturday night I went to church and was deeply impacted by the message. Discerning God’s Perspective, whether for the past or the future, giving us perspective to make a right judgment, not only to look at what’s happened in our life but also as to what’s coming. Lately our past has weighed heavily on my mind, as well as our future. During the message it was the latter that was on my mind, but despite not having any clue as to what our future holds for us, I felt that there wasn’t one area where I was severely out of line with God’s perspective. Of course I’m not saying that I’m perfect; naturally there are areas always for improvement; however, I felt comfortable with all of them, in agreement with what the pastor was saying.
Then Sunday night I went for the worship time, a night of singing to God. It was awesome! It impacted me life greatly, and during a time of prayer, I realized that I’m still questioning my past, what those 8 years in Argentina were all about, did we fail, or does God have something here for us that is more important than us being overseas? Did we not do a good job? Why are we here, when there are so many people here, and such a need overseas? I didn’t resolve anything with God, just got those questions out, cried for a bit, felt that God was listening to me. It’s amazing what a concentrated time of singing God songs will do for me. I feel that I’ve been floating on songs all day today.