Reflections on Losses

Five year old Lily is lying in an induced coma. She has Hemolytic-uremic syndrome, (HUS, for short), which is caused by E. coli poisoning. Of her three younger siblings, two are currently being hospitalized for the same disease, but thankfully they are not in such terrible condition. This American family arrived recently in Buenos Aires and has been involved with this for a couple of weeks now.
Today we got word that Lily has been declared clinically brain dead and will be taken off the respirator this morning. As I read the news, I was in shock. I realized that Lily was in critical condition, that even earlier this week she had a touch-and-go day, but word was that she was improving.
Less than 6 months ago an eight year old in our church was in the hospital for about 2 weeks, had dialysis, transfusions, and is doing better now. She will be susceptible to kidney problems for the rest of her life. Her mother was reflecting today on how everyone was telling her at the time that her daughter’s rapid recovery was nothing short of a miracle. Now, watching the horrors of this case, she believes it even more firmly.
The more I think about the situation, the loss, the family going through such trial, I am grieved more and more. It hasn’t been away from my thoughts for very long all day. All the questions, doubts, wondering why, hoping that God will use this for His glory, for some good, to justify why a little life had to be taken.
My oldest daughter is angry over it all. She left for school not wanting to talk about it, pretty ticked that Lily couldn’t be saved. I tried to communicate that God wants us to bring our questions, frustrations, anger to Him, that what He doesn’t want is for us to turn our backs on Him and stop talking to Him. She understands this, but says she would respond in silence, angry at God, if it were to happen in our family.
How do we deal with this? How do we help our children understand that bad things happen, horrible things, that we have no control over, and yet God is loving through it all? What if my children were to learn of the horrors that happen on a nightly basis to some little children around the world, some even living in our very neighborhood? Of the loss of innocence, of betrayal by loved family members? Of souls being traded for life-sustaining food? Of children being used in wars, or addicted to drugs to stave off hunger pains? We protect our children from so much of the evil of this world, and when they are confronted by something as innocent as the loss of a life due to illness, they are shocked. What would be the shock to learn about the monstrosities of real life in this fallen world? Is it right to continue to protect them, when do we begin to open the door to this world’s ugliness?
My oldest had to read a novel for school in which the little boy was horribly abused (physically) by his family members – twice almost lost his life, but for his sister who saved him. I have been totally against why she needs to read such stuff, what value is it adding to her life. But now I wonder, is it an opening, if even a little crack, into understanding that there are horrors in this world, and she will have either to get angry at every one or harden her heart to the pain.
Meanwhile, a mother and father have said good bye to their daughter for the last time, a grandmother struggles with keeping siblings in order while working through her own emotions of losing a granddaughter, two other children are fighting a deadly disease, and I can imagine that all the family wants to do is return to the US, have a “do over,” and forget that there even exists a city called Buenos Aires.